My beautiful Boy!

Thanksgiving Baby!

Bailey Wynn is here!
Born November 26th. 8 lbs 11 oz and 21 inches long. Mommy went all natural childbirth. You would have been proud. I'm going to write it up later...right now..life is all about sleep, nursing and healing!

Children and their thoughts about my belly

At preschool, the children know I have a baby in my belly, and many have had their own personal experience with a new baby in their family this year. But that doesn't stop their curiosity about the growing belly.

Mary, a bright 4 year old asked me when I was 7 months along, "If babies are so small why is your belly so big?"
____

Just last week a cute 2 1/2 year old redheaded boy asked me why I had a big belly. I quizzed him back, "why do you think?" thinking he knew why as everyone did.

"I think you ate too much snack in the Big Room," he cleverly replied. "My belly gets big too after I eat snack."

"Oh, yeah that could be, but I have a baby in my belly," I responded.

He looked at me for a full minute deciding if I was telling the truth, then said, "No, I think you just ate too much snack." He proceeded to pat his belly as he finished his snack.

Baby Shower

What a wonderful shower! Just how I wanted it with baby's dad there to share the love and support from family and friends! It felt great to be surrounded by so much love! Thank you!

Big thank you to Dawn and Heather for throwing the party, you girls rock!

For those of you who missed the shower I plan to have a celebration at some point with baby to welcome him in our world! I'll keep you posted.

For those of you asking me, I still have a registry up at Amazon.com.

Anyday?

14 days to go... or how about tomorrow??

Hyper-nesting nearing

I'm not sure if its because I had the baby shower last night...but I was up all night full of endless thoughts and plans... if I had the energy I would have been cleaning and organizing according to such plans. Instead, for two hours, I wrote out my ideas, intents, and pending projects.

I feel like the hyper-nesting mode is nearing. In fact, if I didn't have to work, I'd be cleaning, shopping, and freaking out right now!

Feet

When waking from a nap baby boy pokes his feet out. If you place your hand on my belly you can feel a foot! The other day I felt the coolest thing ever... I put my hand over his foot and felt a little fluttering... he was wiggling his toes!

Nesting Instinct or irrational odd behavior the past two days...

This all sounds familar. I've organized all the closets and drawers in every room in the house the last two days. So is it the "Nesting Instinct"? Is it a sign of labor to come soon?!

from Pregnancy Weekly:
... the "nesting" instinct can set in. This is an uncontrollable urge to clean one's house brought on by a desire to prepare a nest for the new baby, to tie up loose ends of old projects and to organize your world.
Females of the animal kingdom are all equipped with this same need. It is a primal instinct. The nesting urge can also be seen as a sign of the onset of labor when it occurs close to 40 weeks of pregnancy.
Nesting brings about some unique and seemingly irrational behaviors in pregnant women and all of them experience it differently. Women have reported throwing away perfectly good sheets and towels because they felt the strong need to have "brand new, clean" sheets and towels in their home.... Cleaning the kitchen cupboards and organizing everything by size to the point that you make sure the silverware patterns match when it's stacked in the cutlery drawer. Sorting the baby's clothes over and over again is a favorite theme. Taking them out of the drawers and re-folding them, putting them away and doing it over and over again.

A little laugh borrowed from Babycenter.com

Five things you never thought you'd say:

• "Let me just finish this can of frosting."
• "Would you mind tying my shoes?"
• "Does my stomach look too small to you?"
• "Can you please massage my perineum again?"
• "Help, I can't get out of bed."

Yeah for Sleep!

I'm taking a personal sleep day tomorrow! Looking forward to napping all day between ...oh perhaps a little nesting if my body allows.

Big Belly

Is that a basketball I swallowed or a cute boy that kicks my ribs?

Free time

The other day I was asked what I do in my free time. I blanked, realizing later that I've spent all my free time the last 8 months sleeping.

How bloated can one get?

When people ask me how I'm feeling I think "Great! ...then again, lately I have to say "Great, if it wasn't for the extreme bloating that numbs my finger, arms, legs, and feet...creating pain."
Is there relief? Could be, if I could live in the bathtub for the rest of my pregnancy?! Otherwise, this is normal my doctor tells me. Joy. 6 more weeks... and my body goes back to normal-ish!

How low can you go?

Not only do I feel him lower than last week, but apparently it is noticeable to friends. These friends also think he'll be early. I think I'm behind them, there are days he pushes down so far walking becomes an effort not to mention the pressure on my pelvic bone! Ouch!

Thus my brain fails everytime I open my mouth

My friend shared this with me...it makes me feel better about my brain these days. I have not been myself. I can not hold a conversation, respond to questions, nor absorb what people tell me right away.

Dr. Oz was on Oprah and here is what he said about mommy brain (excerpted from Oprah’s website): (another case for your need of more sleep) Jennifer, a mom from Wayne, New Jersey, says she began noticing differences in the way her brain worked after giving birth to a baby boy. "I began to lose words," she says. "I would start in a conversation, and then all of a sudden, I wouldn't be able to remember a simple word like 'tomato' or 'chandelier.'"

Dr. Oz says this is a real condition known as "mommy brain."Dr. Oz says Jennifer's son, Benjamin, used up a lot of her omega-3 fats while he was in the womb. Eighty percent of our brains are fat," he says. "So the baby sucks up a lot of that vital nutrient, sometimes potentially to the detriment of the mother." During pregnancy, Dr. Oz says a woman's brain also shrinks by about 8 percent. "You don't lose cells. The cells get smaller," he says. "It might be because you're focused on one thing, but the good news is after you give birth, your brain begins to rewire quickly. … Your brain actually gets more powerful than before you got pregnant.

"To combat "mommy brain," Dr. Oz recommends taking omega-3 fatty acids and getting plenty of sleep. "[Omega-3 is] important because we know that it actually allows women to recover from depression faster if they have depression after pregnancy," he says. "It also allows the brain to grow."

32 weeks and 5 days

Got an ultrasound this week. He is head down, and I mean DOWN! My bladder has officially become his pillow. He favors my right side, must be more snuggly over there with his foot nearing my ribs.

Pain, oh the pain

Work has always given me sore feet, but nothing compares to the pain they are in since pregnancy. As soon as I come home, with tears in my eyes, I have to soak them and rub them. Why is it that feet are so sensitive in pregnancy?!

Did I mention that my joints make me feel like I should be collecting social security when I get up from sitting, squatting or sleeping. I have to hobble for a minute before my body straightens and my joints wake up. All normal according to the pregnancy books. Joy.

Seven more weeks...and my body goes back to normal. Right??

final weigh in?

According to Babycenter: "By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds (pick up a large jicama) and is about 16.7 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus. You're gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb."

So by the end I will have gained 60-65lbs for my pregnancy. At least the last of it is the baby and not me! :)

Feeling Lonely

I feel so lonely. All of my friends seem to be extremely busy or just plain with their significant other the last few months. So it's just me and my belly with 8 weeks left. Soon I'll be lonely with a baby.

...I suppose not so lonely then.

I crave "time spent with friends" and seem to find it the one thing that can't be satisfied. Where is everyone? Why can't it be something simple like dinner or a movie? something... would be nice.

another redhead?

I found out last week that the father's side has the redhead gene as well. His brother is a redhead and has a red headed boy. So chances are really promising for all you hoping that I'll have a redhead!

ugh!

Everything has become an effort now! Things I normally want to get done or need to get done are now an EFFORT! I'm getting to that uncomfortable pregnant stage. Moving is stiff and slow, bending toward the ground is now questioned for its need (perhaps that pen I dropped can just stay there until after December).

By Sunday, I'm extra grumpy as I hit my threshold and my body has become swollen from the week of endless hours. It's my "four job" month. I can not wait until it's two.

Weight gain

Leave it to doctors to have a chart or graph on how much you should weigh. Grrr. One is supposed to gain 25-30 pounds during pregnancy. I have gained 38lbs. Oops.
I blame the Ovaltine I drink every morning with my well-rounded breakfast. I guess its time to accept milk as it is, and drink it without the chocolate fix. Or perhaps their chart is unrealistic, much like the chart they have for non-pregnant people.
This might explain the clothes struggle. I ordered some maternity pants, we'll see if I can fit into them. If not... I guess I'll wear pants after I start breastfeeding. I hear you burn weight breastfeeding.

Hiccups

We've officially reached the hiccup stage. "A gentle rhythmic jarring in the abdomen" lasting a few minutes to half an hour or more. He seems to be getting them two or three times a day...some days more. It's an odd sensation that I feel on my end. It makes me giggle knowing what it is. :)

I'm okay. Really?!

Seems like once a month a ball my eyes out. It's like my well-being gets hyper aware of everything going on in my life. The worst part is I end up sending out either emotional filled messages or humor-laced messages to cover what I'm feeling...all while crying. Then by the next day I'm back to being the strong, courageous, and glowing woman that I know I am. Which is comfortingly confirmed by my friends.

A couple of days ago I was struck by this monthly phenomenon.

Babies like yoga

I love my yoga! I wish it was offered more than twice a week! I have attempted to follow a video or do it on my own, but it is not as motivating. Regardless, it has been the best thing for me! I feel great and still have amazing balance, not to mention increased flexibility despite the huge belly I'm sporting!

This morning a little someone in my belly joined in the stretching while I did my own. It made me giggle and throw off a few of my stretches. Luckily my breathe, gentle sway, and stretch of my body lulled him back to sleep.

Feeling good and bad

I feel sexy and confident thus far in my pregnancy. But lately I've been trying to shop for pants... ha ha! what a joke. I used to squeeze into tight pants and only had to get the large because I have always had hips. But now...oh...wow... I think I'm carrying a little pregnancy weight in my thighs!

Oh well, my plan is to actually enter the weight room at the YMCA (I never go there now) after my pregnancy and work on the issue. Anyone wanna babysit while mommy toughens up of her thighs?

Belly picture with a little art!

I took this picture of myself next to an artist's sculpture. I thought we belonged together.
Because I am nude (not naked, there is a difference) I have posted it at this link so as not to offend anyone.
http://picasaweb.google.com/katy.sketch/PregnancyNudeWithArt/photo?authkey=8zzRcx958qQ#5241162242006146114

Clothes make a woman

I'm officially a woman. yep, that's right, I can no longer shop the junior department for clothes...even though the style in season is "fitting" to my pregnancy as the racks line themselves with extra long shirts and empire waists and stretchy material. My shoulders have become to broad for the large size and my legs a bit womanly in the thigh area to squeeze into any pants that have some stretch to them. I should have known when I started shopping the size 6 in women's early this year, skipping the size 2 and 4 before I was pregnant.
Unfortunately women's trend isn't so maternity supportive... I actually have to shop online for maternity wear now. Thank you Old Navy for carrying maternity wear cheap! Yesterday I did luck out with a local hip store and snag a few pieces that I can fit into for the next month or two for work.

Boys or men, you sleep the same

Have you noticed that men generally sleep in the same spot every night, whereas women take up the whole bed and move about? Seems the same goes in utero. A woman carrying a girl has a tummy of disproportions. A woman carrying a boy has a nice round stomach like she stuffed a basketball under her shirt like she did when she was 6 years old imitating the pregnant teacher or mother.

My little boy has taken to wedging himself to the very bottom of my tummy, stretching across my bladder (the perfect pillow apparently)! I feel the weight pull down as he curls up in his burrow. Often I can rub his back when he rolls over on his side, pushing his back against my hand.

Watching videos can make one ....cry?

I recently watched a couple of birthing videos. I cried each time!? Not sad or fearful tears...but a range of emotions...its beautiful (and seemingly painful).

One friend asked me if it was because in one of them the partner was there being so supportive. "No, I don't think so," I replied. After all, I have a generous friend who's stepped up and offered to be my partner, I just hope he gives back massages like in the video!

If you'd like to see some amazing videos or just see what the heck made me cry, visit: http://www.babycenter.com/video
I watched the Natural Child Birth video.

In truth, I watched almost them all, although I couldn't bring myself to watch the c-section. No, thanks.

Now, that I think about it, I might have cried watching the cute baby get a bath!? Gee, I'm not emotional? Anyone want to take me to a movie? You bring the Kleenex, I'll buy the popcorn!

Nipple cream

Nipple cream has to be the oddest thing. It feels like a blend of vaseline and honey that doesn't wash off easily. But I have to admit its a nipple-saver in this heat!

On a funny note, I think I made the lady at the drugstore turn a little red when she asked if I needed help and I replied, "Nipple cream." She hurried me over to the baby section and pointed to the obscure spot it was placed in.

The bad and the good side of pregnancy

Bad: I can't tie my shoes. I might need to buy bigger underwear. I have to pee every hour with urgency then again five minutes after peeing. My feet hurt and have grown a size and a half!? There goes all my cute shoes (plus side = shoe shopping! what girl doesn't love that?!)

Good: My boobs look great and fit into the boob cubbies in clothes now! I have a better excuse to wear a dress in the daytime. Yoga still feels great, is easy, and I even have better balance! I crave healthy foods. I crave ice cream and eat it cause I must need it! I get to watch and feel the amazing experience of someone kicking and move about inside of me!

So far I have had...

...A smooth pregnancy where I feel amazing and look great, but am plagued with random moments of emotional upheaval, spawned by the uncertainty of key roles.
I'm past the halfway point and starting to "nest". I need answers, I need child care, I need baby items, I need the nursery to be put together.
I'm thinking "nest" is another word for "need". Much like I need some ice cream right now.

Contact!

Last night he was restless... I could feel with my hand and see with my eyes his kicking, stretching, and punching. But the most amazing moment was when I pushed gently on my tummy and he pushed back, I could feel him with my fingertips!

Need versus cravings

I can't say that I've had any real strange cravings. But what I have had is a NEED for things I used to eat or drink only occasionally:

Orange juice
Milk
Apples
Ice Cream (although my intake of ice cream always increases in the summer)

If I don't have these items available in the house or on a daily basis, I freak out.

These items I can survive, but within a day I need them again:

Bananas
Peanut Butter

At least they are all healthy choices!

Kick, kick!

The kicks are still small, but it's so exciting to feel them throughout the day! When I have a moment to sit down, I can't help but place my hand on my tummy and hope to feel a kick or two to remind me there's a reason my ass and my tummy are getting so big!

Bath time...kicking and splashing!

I finally took a long awaited bath... of course a warm not hot bath. But after five minutes I was draining half the water out to add cold water.

While I lay, gently splashing the cool bath water I could feel someone waking up and moving around. His movements were so hard I could see my belly move. I put my hand on the tummy and waited for each kick. I could feel them on the inside and the outside!

I am almost certain now that the "gas or kick" is actually a kick. Looking back two days ago while the nurse and I were listening to his heartbeat he was active and kept moving in and out of range. Then he made a "surface" kick at the device she was pressing into my belly. She saw it! I felt the same jabs and kicks laying in the tub. It's early to be feeling him on the outside, but I'm not surprised!

Now everyone can have a good reason to put their hands on my belly. But good luck, it's not often his up and about...he's quite the napper!

Can you see?

I'm on my parent's computer and I'm noticing that the pictures look very dark, especially the ultrasound. I can barely make them out. Are you having trouble too? Let me know so I can go in and adjust them.

Gas or kicking?

Laugh if you must but I can finally relate to all those moms wondering: was that gas or the baby? In the beginning I could distinguish, but now as everything inside of me has shifted and squished itself into odd places, I can't seem to tell the difference.

Exhaustion!

Children sleep long hours because their bodies are growing. Pregnant women get hit with a bout of exhaustion, sneaking in throughout the day... next thing I know my belly looks bigger and I need another nap and someone to get off my bladder?!

Feeling Beautiful? Yes, please!

I keep reading about women feeling ugly during pregnancy and I don't understand. I feel great! I feel sexy! So my ass has gotten a little bigger. So what, now I have a "booty". My boobs got a little bigger, YES! ha ha!
The rest of me feels and looks great!
Maybe it helps I get compliments from friends and strangers, feeding my pregnant ego. I'll take it. Why not?
Last night I met up with an artist friend who might sketch or sculpt me. I think that would be exciting. I was thinking of doing it myself and happen to take pictures the other day to work from. But how great would it be to have something from an artist.

Feeling Active

Someone is feeling exceptional active today!

Peanut butter can be harmful?

"Don't eat peanuts during pregnancy." That's what they say. Really? Because its part of my diet...I love peanut butter, I crave it. So because I can't restrain myself I'm going to give my child a peanut allergy? What?!

Yet on the other hand, they say that if you have carrot juice and other odd nutritious things while you are pregnant you give your baby a chance to taste them, therefore increasing his chances of liking these vitamin-filled delights when he starts eating solids. Whereas not eating them during pregnancy can put a child off of them when it comes time to start eating solids.

Okay, so wouldn't eating peanuts get his system used to peanuts and develop the same food passion for them as his mother?

I am certain my mother ate peanut butter when she was pregnant with me.

Cutest book!

I came across this book yesterday. It is a fun and well written book that made me cry at the end. So sweet! I recommend it for any mother-to-be. I ordered my copy today on Amazon. :)

Other pregnancy pains

So I thought I was getting a charlie-horse in my buttock area... after telling my mother, she quickly informed me that it could be the lovely Sciatica Nerve Pain. Joy.

http://www.womenshealthcaretopics.com/preg_sciatica.htm

Here I thought I was having a happy, easy, and comfortable pregnancy!

I have a doctor appointment next Friday, I will have to discuss it then. I also broken down the other day and bought a pregnancy pillow-it's in the mail. Maybe that will help. (Like I need more pillows in my bed?!)

Ultrasound 19 weeks

So I had gotten on the "girl" bandwagon. We even already had a name picked out if it was a girl. Never narrowed down the boy names...still in thought process.

But turns out it's a boy! Which is what I wanted in the first place. I had figured I'd be happy either way... and I truly am!

The ultrasound was amazing to see regardless of the pressure it put on my full bladder. Plus I started getting some shooting pain in my back..not sure what or why.. I never asked, just endeared so that we could see the beautiful fingers and toes on my healthy baby boy!

Cravings - you can call me odd

After a long, exhausting, frustrating day I figured out how to get the caramel out of the jar.

2 scoops of Breyers Vanilla ice cream
2 TB Klickers cut strawberries
1 TB raspberries
2 TB caramel sauce
Eat immediately.

It was delicious!

Emotions are high!

I have to admit that I've been filling absolutely great! I feel ecstatic about my pregnancy. I walk around with my head held high, a huge smile, and a positive attitude toward life. I feel great!


Then there's a morning like today..where I feel a bit moody.. still happy but shadowed by anger and sadness. It seems these times come out of the blue for no reason. Or is there a reason? Sometimes I think its related to my emotions toward the father which lay on the surface of my heart. Sometimes its just the reality of my situation..of feeling alone when in fact I'm surrounded by friends and family. Sometimes its anxiety driven. Sometimes I just need a nap after working an exhausting 10 hour day.

Whatever the reason when these moods arise I have no idea what to do with them. I cry, I clean, I talk to a friend, I growl at something, I take a nap. It helps a little, but the unwanted emotions return. I suppose that's just the natural pregnancy emotional roller coaster I get to be on.

Today, maybe, these emotions arise because I have the ultrasound tomorrow.

Votes are coming in!

Many of you have emailed me your thoughts on boy or girl. Seems everyone is voting girl. A red-head girl at that!? Just think...we'd be quite the team. I wonder if the world would be able to handle us?

158-160

The baby's heart rate has been 158-160. According to boy versus girl theories, that means girl! The theory is that girls heart rate is faster (140 and above) than the boys.

When I search around online to see what people say about the theory a majority have experienced it's truth while a few have not.

Hopefully we'll find out in six days through the ultrasound!

This wasn't in the books?!

Scared the heck out of myself and my mother today. I started having quick, sharp pains that came and went. The pain was so strong I couldn't move, only cry out. I had no idea what to think so I called my mother crying and confused. We decided to go to the ER to get it checked out. Turned out to be Round Ligament Syndrome. Apartly, common during the second trimester. "Throughout pregnancy, the round ligaments will stretch and grow with the growing uterus and this can cause pain for the mother."

Here's a great site for those curious: http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/encyclopedia/R/Round-Ligament-Syndrome/

The doctor was kind enough to tell me I'll be experiencing other pains soon enough (back pains, etc). Joy. Here I thought I was having a pretty easy pregnancy thus far minus the horrible sleep patterns!

Heartbeat - wanna hear?

I recorded the heartbeat from the other day with my phone. Thank you phone gods for a great feature!
Picture is from 10 weeks, but heartbeat is 18 weeks!

Pedicure

I think I just gave myself my last pedicure.. reaching the toes isn't so easy. I think I even got a swift kick of protest. I will have to save my extra dollars to pay someone for the next time.

Heartbeat

As part of the First Steps program, I get a visit from a nurse every month. I just got off the phone with her and we are going to listen to heartbeat tomorrow! I'm so excited!

I'm trying to upload the sound to share, but it's not working.

Taking votes - boy or girl

I'm curious to what you all think the baby will be. I have an ultrasound in two weeks..so place your votes now!
Boy or Girl?

zzzZZZzzzzzzz

feeling exhausted...sleep becomes elusive as my work day gets longer and leg cramps plague my sleep pattern.

Family stories

Last few visits my Grandpa has randomly told me stories from his past. There's the one about getting fired from his paper route for taking a break to steal/eat a farmer's watermelon then there's one about his paddy wagon escape in Waitsburg. This man is full of mischief that I never knew about until recently. I wonder if my child will get to know him. But then, what child knows his GREAT-grandparents? I really should write these stories down so that I can share them with my child someday along with stories about my other grandparents.

And no, I haven't told him the news yet. He didn't even notice my bulging belly when we went out to dinner last night!?

Pillow Queen or Princess and the Pea?

I went from the girl that threw the pillows out of the bed to buying more and stuffing my bed with 'em. But sadly I still can't get comfortable. I'm naturally a side-sleeping and back-sleeper. Which works out great, except for the back part.

What is with the "do not sleep on your back"?

First I read things that talked about the potential for compromise to the uterine-placental blood flow if I sleep flat on my back. Odd. That's what all the books seem to warn against.

As a result of pregnancy insanity I have surrounded myself with a sea of pillows and the cat. No way to roll over onto my back. But I can hug a pillow whichever way I turn and that is all that really matters!

Weird cravings?

Does strawberry ice cream with caramel sauce count? I haven't tried it, my mother talked me out of it. But I have Breyers French Vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce at home. Later I'm picking up fresh local Klicker's strawberries to throw on top. I'll let you know if it was a good idea. :)

No picture?!

Today I went in for an OB appointment. I was really hoping to see the baby and get a couple of pictures..but no go. I did get to hear the heartbeat. 157.-160. I believe some of that was caffeine induced. I got up early to meet a friend for tea and couldn't resist the Madagascar Vanilla Bean Black tea they were serving. Sorry little one!

According to the heartbeat, my doctor suggests it's a girl. (She didn't know about the caffeine.)

My doctor got the process going for my next ultrasound which will be at the hospital with a trained ultrasound tech. I got a call back today I am all scheduled, it's in three weeks! I can hardly wait! Hopefully we'll be able to tell if it's a boy or girl! I hear it depends on the baby's position. With this active one, I'm sure it'll move into the right position at some point during the ultrasound!

4 more weeks?

Many of you have been asking if I know or want to know if it's a boy or girl. I do want to know! But I have to wait until at least 20 weeks. So four more weeks...or so. I can hardly wait!

Sharing the news

Today I ran into a friend I haven't seen in a while...and realized the list of people I still haven't told is longer than I thought. It includes some important family members, as well, that live here.

It's getting more obvious that I've either gained exceptional weight around my mid-section (a late in the school year beer belly) or I am pregnant. I can't imagine running into these people showing and saying..oh yeah..by the way. Or worse yet, someone else telling them. At least family shouldn't find out that way! I keep putting it off because I fear their reactions.

A good friend of mine told me this sort of thing brings you closer to true friends and further away from people who weren't. I have seen that already as it brought me and my best friend (sister) since kindergarten closer than ever. We had drifted over the last ten years and now we talk almost everyday and it feels right. Listening to her is like hearing a piece of myself...it's no wonder we were joined at the hip growing up (my dad says). But it also has put distance between me from another dear friend.

But what about family?

First Jab

I've been able to figure out when the baby is moving around...the flutters have gotten a little stronger and sometimes causes a little (very slight) nausea.

Last night we had the pleasure of being startled awake by Gracie (cat) twice. We woke with a start and so did the baby at 1230am and 1am. I felt a good swift jab in my stomach. More like a punch and a kick. We were not pleased with the cat who then decided it would be fun to dig around in the closet and create more noise. Grumble.

Where am I at?

~~~~~~~~~~15 weeks today!~~~~~~~~~~

Oh my...I'm going to have a child!?!

Today I quietly freaked out that I'm going to have a child. This happens on occasion. But then I remember that I'm 29 and figure timing isn't everything and I'm not unprepared.

When is it ever a good time? Who is ready? Okay, so 20 year olds barely out of college who are madly in love working toward their first marriage are ready (that was me). When I turned 22 I became unprepared again but never gave up the idea that I would have children someday.

As 30 approaches I found myself still not ready... a glimpse into how men feel. But I still have not given up the idea. Whereas, it seems every man I have met over 30 tells me, "Well, I haven't be ready yet, so I guess that means I don't want kids." In the back of my mind I think, "Really?! Why?" But then I realize the truth. Men don't look ahead, they barely look to tomorrow, maybe they will look enough ahead to see next week or their next vacation but they skip everything in between. Women on the other hand have been calculating every detail of their lives since they were six. We look so far down the road that we see the front porch swing, the grandkids, and the garden full of tiger lilies.

Regardless of all that planning it never seems to match the timing in life. We women accept that unpredictability but not without frustration, tears, or anger. When things do happen, we are more grateful than fearful unlike our counter part.

I'm showing. I swear!

I like this cartoon I got from babycenter.com. It's fitting for how I feel. Although I'm pretty sure my tummy is larger than hers. After all, when I bend down to pick something up, there's this lump in the way and none of my pants fit around my waist (or thighs or ... well, let's put it this way, I think my body is working on some balance portions). My mother calls it the "baby bump". My dad rolls his eyes.

Good thing its skirt weather. Stretchy waist bands here I come! I have noticed that shirts this season are maternity style..long and tummy approved. Interesting timing. The skirts even have a fold at the top that I can easily unfold and cover up the tummy. Odd. Finally fashion that is fitting to me!

Are you wondering about the 10 weeks?

I remember just before my first ultrasound my sister was teasing me that it was twins. Panic. On May 11th I went in for my first ultrasound to confirm how far along I was and the due date.

I have to say I was nervous and battling the try-not-to-pee-your-pants as she pressed on my almost full bladder. At first the monitor was turned away..so I stared at the doctor, then my mother, then the ceiling as the goo and wand slid across my belly. Finally the doctor smiled and turned the monitor my way. She pointed to the heart. I could see the outline of the baby as it kicked and bounced in the black and white screen. Then I saw the little smudge that blinked to be the heart.
She moved the wand around to the side of my stomach and we saw the baby from a side view. I watched the baby throw some punches and a big smile came across my face, the first mother's proud moment.

Tears formed in my eyes, I tried to hold back from a full outburst of ..I think they were actually happy tears...the feeling was so overwhelming I probably felt a range of emotions.

I wish the father could have had the chance to experience it because a still picture doesn't do it justice and certainly doesn't show the cool boxer growing inside!

I've never seen an ultrasound before and I have to say it was amazing! I can not wait until the next one!

Allergies equals a heartbeat

I have had the worse allergies since my pregnancy started. I missed out on the smell sensitivity all the books talk about.. instead I lost my sense of smell for the first 10 weeks. It's my second trimester and I finally have my allergies under control.. but not without medication. Which scares the hell out of me even though everything I have taken is listed in the B category, doctor and pharmacist approved. So to settle my nerves but still remain comfortable and breathing I take as little as possible.

Seems I was the odd bird with this allergies being at their worst with pregnancy until my aunt told me she had the same problem. Amazing how knowing someone else suffered something that according to the books I wasn't supposed to makes me feel better.

I hope this kid comes with an great immune system against allergies and my medication isn't ruining that chance!

The only good thing about the allergies is that it forced me to see the doctor sooner than my next ob appointment and during that appointment the doctor had us listen to the baby's heartbeat! My first time hearing it since we couldn't hear it at 10 weeks. Once again, tears and a big grin on my face, as the doctor and the nurse smiled back and said, "Oh what a great strong heart that is!" Officially my second proud-mother-moment (boxing being the first).

Boy or Girl?

So my mother and my sister are hopeful that its a girl. As for me, I would like a boy. I have five weeks until I will know. Would I be disappointed? Would I be happy either way?

Growing up I found babysitting boys to be easier. Regardless of their high energy and destructive nature I find them easier to engage and manage.. I still do. Working in the preschool I have been happy to meet the girls in the classroom. They have opened my eyes to the girlish nature that I once found demanding as something that can be shared and treasured. So what gender is most desirable?

Boy or Girl?

I have to admit (for a second reason) that I secretly wish for a boy...for the father. It seems that men seem to find happiness in sharing that maleness with a son. But then again, why would there be "Daddy's Girls", if girls are not as desirable?

First Flutters

I felt my first flutters the other day walking to the car with my mother. It's odd, I have read about it in all the pregnancy books but no matter what I read, nothing prepared me for the way it felt. Butterflies fluttering, yes, but the emotion that stirs was like seeing my first ultrasound. A feeling of happiness that forces a few tears out of my eyes and smile on my face.
Now three days later the fluttering feels a little nauseating.
I have seen how active this child is in the ultrasound. My little boxer! But now I nervously wonder what the "real" kicking will feel like in a few weeks. I have had a horrible cough for the last month, I can only imagine payback is coming my way!